Homeless guy story from this winter

The night was cold and gross. Behind me, the city gave off this pink light turning the solid grey sky into a sick intestine color. It was bitterly cold as I walked away from downtown Minneapolis towards home. Why do I work until dark every night? I hate my job, it’s pointless, and why am I doing this to myself, I thought. The temperature had risen during the day and then dropped, but it might as well have rained with the amount of ice covering the sidewalks. I had to pay attention to avoid slipping towards the road. I just wanted to get home, even though I knew that once I got there, I was going to feel the same. It seemed that the I was an emotional match for the weather and this gave me a feeling of being camouflaged. Leave me alone, I have nothing to do with this cold and this crummy street I’m walking along, I just want to get home and resume being myself again.

When I saw him there was no one else around. It was only me. Thirty years ago Nicollet Ave was a major thoroughfare, but a dozen years ago they dropped a Kmart on top of it and killed it’s commerce. The street is now a mix of timid family owned ethnic restaurants and empty lots covered in scraggly trees and busted concrete. It was near one of these lots I saw a man sitting on the sidewalk. He was old and his legs were spread towards me. Stupid drunk, I thought. This guy can’t handle his liquor, has fallen down on the ice and now he’s making it my problem. A day before Rachel and I saw an old homeless lady as we left the movies, she looked like the type who was just getting used to it. Our hearts broke, but as we walked home we figured out smart ways to blame her and by the time we got home we felt awful for what we had said.

But here I was now alone with this guy who can’t take care of himself whose basically begging me to coddle his idiocy. This guy spends his whole day drinking it up; I spend my whole day doing a job that’s extinguishing the good part of me. Now I have to take care of the guy I’m kind of jealous of. I thought of a quote my boss would say, “You’re lack of planning should not constitute an emergency on my part.” the quote didn’t quite fit, but I didn’t care I was angry. I just wanted to be camouflaged, a crummy feeling on a crummy day, leave me alone.

The man was still about a block away rocking back and forth helpless to get up. He had long white hair, a dirty green parka. A pack of cigarettes sat at his feet; as if he’d been there so long he’d gotten bored with being just helpless. He wanted to be helpless -and smoking-. I dug around in my pockets looking for a cigarette myself. I though, Hey if I dig around long enough I’ll be too busy to help him, especially if I do it in a language this guy understands, smoker.

His right arm was crooked and hung from him at an odd angle. And my hands instantly found both cigarette and lighter; I had my tools for ignoring. I was now so close looking at his arm and hearing his mumbling. I had to make a choice. Need a hand Sir? I said stopping. He looked up to me lost, holding his right arm, mumbling. Here man, I grab his good hand and pull, sliding him across the ice. No no you’re going to have to push with your legs. Mumbles. Here. I slide him towards the snowy shoulder. Push off the snow not the ice, Man. He tries and I pull but he just slides. I try putting our boots together and I lean way back, but he just has nothing to give. So I set him back down and look around for someone else to come over and help me. Man I don’t think I can get you myself. Mumbles. His one arm is broken. No one’s around. Hey man I don’t know you but it looks like I’m gonna have to lift you. Mumbles nnnaah. I don’t want to do this. But I have to. I made the choice. I bend down. Put both of my arms under this old drunks armpits bear hugging him gently. I can feel his bones, smell his jacket, my face nesting near his neck. The skin is red. I’m about to stand him up when I hear, Hey! You alright?

Four people cross the street. You need an ambulance? They are all dressed in yellow vests. Are you O-kay sir? Three white men and a black lady. You guys got this? I ask. I feel like I should say more. But I turn and walk away. As they call the paramedics. I hear them asking him about his limbs and it seems they can decipher his mumbling better than me. Ok so you were walking, yeah. Well don’t worry we’ll get someone on they way. I mount the hill and take a turn as the firetruck counters towards the way I came. I see people looking out their window at it. I feel something behind me that I know. And people rushing towards where I was. I’d done something good. I breathed out into the cold air and smiled.